in darkness and in light...

wildwood was ah-mazing... ive learned so much. trying to sum it up, is going to be hard. well, we were on the way there, in an old van with no airconditioning, in 100 degree weather at least... and i got to thinking... "was anything life changing going to happen while i was up there?" i was doubtful to say the least. and i had no idea of what it was going to be like. (and i was worried my orchids wouldnt make it through the week, i was going to be gone.) so, i was worried. i didnt want to get up there and have all that time wasted, in hopes that it wouldnt be wasted... so we get there, and for the next four days, the same doubtfulness remained. it didnt come to me until the fifth day, while we up at our altar, talking about how God had stretched us, and where we had grown... to sum it up; i was afraid to let God take and lead my life... and i would try to walk with my eyes open, even though i was walking in the dark... now, i have no fear of walking blind folded. i guess thats a pretty cheesy analogy... but its the only way to really sum up what ive gained and what ive let go.

laundry, wildwood, and summer...

o man... i have tons of laundry to do.
and only one day to do it. lets hope i get it
all done before i go to wildwood.
well, not much else to say... cause most
of my summer stuff starts after wildwood.
from then on, it gets crazy. i still have to work
out a time to go see my dad... hes not very happy
that i havent been down yet, and that im leaving
for camp on fathers day. i kinda feel bad about it.

....

sad to say... i dont think i really have anything of interest to say. i guess its because things have been going so slow lately. or at least they seem like theyre going slow. no doubt, they are. or maybe its just me, i havent been my normal self lately... which im sure you all can tell. my every day things dont seem as worth while or exciting like they used to. so all the things i would have brought up in one of my blogs, dont seem interesting, so i just just stopped posting. its pretty pathetic, i cant even think of anything random to talk about... thats pretty bad.
i have spent more time in prayer and bible study, since ive been feeling this way. so, at least that part of it is good. maybe thats why God put me here. cause im not going to lie... i was slacking off as far as bible study and prayer. (i was feeling lousy because of it.) maybe the lesson here, is; even though life can get exciting and distracting, there should always be time for God. and that he should be the number one thing on your list... always... im sure you all know that and i know that. but- in the mist of the good, bad, crazy, sad, exciting, distracting, things you come across in life, i think it can be easy to forget even the most important thing... im not sure if thats just a fault in me, or if everyone struggles with it..?? it just proves the divine greatness of God, in that he never forgets about anyone and is always there. and proves my own imperfectness. even in my imperfections, he still loves me despite them. God is good...

gone, all at once.

well, im leaving tomorrow on boating trip in oxnard. and wont be back until sunday or monday. (which means no posting.) the reason why im going is because the trip is for a friends birthday. so thats pretty exciting. i was kinda crossing my fingers that i would come across some good rock formations, while i was out there. (safe enough for me to climb, without a rope anyway. but hey, life is taking risks right..??) that would be pretty amazing if i did find some. so everyone cross your fingers for me. i also want to apologize for not posting as much as i should... ive been having a hard time trying to figure out what to talk about. but- then again i thinks its more amusing when you find some random topic to talk about. so- i will try to do better.