Perfect by Flyleaf

Sick of circling the same road
Sick of bearing the guilt
So open the windows to cool off
And heat pours in instead

Perfect in weakness
I'm only perfect in just your strength alone

All my efforts to clean me
Leave me putrid and filthy
And how can you look at me
When I can't stand myself

I'm tired to be honest
I'm nobody

Perfect in weakness
I'm only perfect in just your strength alone

Perfect in weakness
I'm only running in just your strength alone

I tried to kill you
You tried to save me

You save me
You save me
You save me
You save me

Perfect in weakness
I'm only perfect in just your strength alone

Perfect in weakness
I'm only running in just your strength alone





we try to fix ourselves and clean out our lives on our own strength and it is impossible. everytime we fall we look for where things might have gone wrong. all the possibilities flood our minds and we are overwhelmed. still we look for and go through every route as to where we went wrong and how we could have fixed it. this only causes further falling.

it is so amazing to me that in this weakness, when we have fallen to our bottom-most low, we are perfect. in this weakened state that we put ourselves in, we are perfect in that we have nothing and no one to rely on but God. it brings us to our knees every time. as we sit there on our knees, we are like little children in the darkness of night, calling out to our father to come to our rescue and turn on the hall light. knowing that when he walks down the hall and opens our door, everything will be alright. that all there was to frighten us will dissipate. in this child like faith we are saved.

"But Jesus said," Let the little children alone,
and do not hinder them from coming to Me;
for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such
as these."
Matt. 19:14

"Truely I say to you, whoever does not receive
the kingdom of God like a child will not enter
it all."
Mark 10:15

how could we receive God unless as a child? otherwise we would be too smart for our own good and not humble at all. a child is weak and knows it needs protection. a child will call for a father in the night after a nightmare. it does not tell itself," this was just a bad dream. i am alive in my bed. everything is as it should be." the only thing that comes into the childs mind is that it is frightened and wants someone big and strong to come and make things better. and in full faith believes that it will be better...

God is so amazing!

Mostly Nothing

hello

today i am a bit excited. you see it is our first church band practice... and i am playing guitar for the church. i am pretty happy about that. i might even play piano now and again. i am not sure. they metioned that but it didnt go much further than that. we shall see. it is at 6:30.

other than that there really isnt much going on today. or hasnt gone on. and i am sure that after practice there wont be anything going on...

Dead End.

well, the first day at home has been nice. we just spent the day cleaning and getting ready for sunday.

my kitten, chip, was mad at me i think. he wouldnt let me pet him at first=( he isnt so mad now. so that is good.
btw! we have five new kittens! they are all so cute. there is a calico female that i love. we arent allowed to name any of them though, since we arent keeping any of them. if anyone wants a kitten let me know!! they are still too little.... but eventually.

i want to get my hair cut so bad. but i have to wait for a while. my mom is taking a friend to go get their hair cut together some time this next week. i am babysitting for both of them. i HOPE that i will be able to get my hair cut the next week following their hair cuts. i may even get lucky and go the same week.... ??? my mom says that my hair doesnt look that bad... but i feel like it is. i have to make and appointment anyways. which could mean that i HAVE to wait another week or two. we shall see.

i am looking for a new song by the format to learn to play. i am not sure which one i want to do. i would really like to do either dead end or compromise right now. i finished learning she doesnt get it. i am debating whether or not i want to put up a video of me playing the song. i would like to wait until i can sing the whole song and play. however, for some reason, this song is harder to play and sing than i thought. there are other songs i can sing to and play... i dont know why this one has to be so much harder. oh well. hopefully ill get it.

there really isnt much for me to say.

i think i may watch a movie...

good night.

Home On The Coast

i am home now. it is so good to see everyone! and we have five new kittens:-):-) the weather is amazing... so perfect.

i am so very tired. i dont know what it was but i had such a hard time waking up this morning. dad came in and i was like, please no.... i dont want to wake up. last night i woke myself up in the middle night talking in my sleep. also i was sleeping on my hand and i had a huge indentation from my ring. nice.

tomorrow is just cleaning day. i dont think that we will be doing anything else.

Train Ride Home

going home tomorrow.... i am still not sure of the time that i will be going... i know it wont be early in the morning though. which will be nice. i can actually sleep this time=)

today looks like it will just be chill. i think i may go in the pool. it is my last day to go in... so i think that i should. dad has a friend coming over that has a little girl for lainey to play with. also i think i will be doing some house work.

i decided to pack early this time. it is such a relief to be completely packed and not have to think about it anymore. i detest packing. i dont mind unpacking though.

i decided to draw cartoon characters to my own phrases... like the one that was in my last post. that has been fun. i have notebook pages filled with those now. i like drawing the robots from that guys page. oh and his page is: explodingdog.com


well, ive got to go...

peace

Zombie

sleepless again.

Sleepless

wow, i cant believe the time! i am so wide awake. i have too much on my mind to sleep. i was just laying in bed staring at the darkness with my thoughts all over the place. sometimes i wish i had an off button for my mind. usually i pray until i fall asleep... that wasnt working tonight. you know when you are praying and other thoughts, not related to prayer, come through your mind and interupt? ya that bugs. i wish that i had a button for that one too. i just want to focus on prayer and not have all this influx of thought to interupt...

it looks like i am going home this friday. i chose friday because my dad had to go into work monday to wednesday morning and that would give us all of thursday together. ill be watching lainey tomorrow. so hopefully lainey and i will have some fun. im sure we will. then on tuesday (and on) the nanny will be here.

when i go, i am excited to take some neat pictures at the train station. the train station in san diego is beautiful. i would never have thought that a train station would be beautiful, but it is. i want to take some pictures there that create a story. that sounds nice right now... i dont really know why.

i really dont have anything to say at one in the morning.

okay i think i feel sleep creeping in... i had better run to bed before it is gone.

View From A Lens

i decided to straighten my hair in this picture. i havent done that for a while and thought it would be fun. please excuse my tired look... i was very tired. it takes me a while to fall asleep while here sometimes, and at this point i had had quite a few long days and nights;)

lainey#1

lainey#2


during this time i had been babysitting lainey for three days straight. dad and lori gave the nanny the week off, which was nice, so i could watch her. usually she is here and it is hard to spend time with lainey. i mean she has to do her job and all, i being a big distraction. you know i recall this one time where i was in my room playing guitar and lainey came in the room to sit with me. the nanny came in, took her out and closed my door. ya, i think i get in the way of her job=) SO it was really nice to take care of her msyself. both dad and lori were at work, leaving lainey and i alone from about 9 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m.