im sorry...

well its a sad sad thing, when bloggers stop blogging... and i havent been a very good blogger lately. hahaha.... to be honest, i havent really wanted to blog. for- no apperant reason. hm, i guess ive been weird. gone through a little weird stage. anyways... chrismas was good. we had some family over; my auntie lo and her kids. they came about two days before hand. and a re still here. but- it kinna looks like they are leaving tomorrow morning. and im going with them. to visit my dad... and all that good stuff. other than that, nothing much has happened... psh...

deep fried....

hey everyone! well tonite is the eragon opening show!and im going with a bunch of friends. i think we're going at 10, but it doesnt start til' 12. so ya. and, tomorrow is the civil war dance. which i am pretty excited about. but- i always am... i still have a little more sewing to do though. it should all work out by tomorrow. it always does.

annnndd... well i burned my hand. again. but- worse this time. i had to go to the doctors for it. okay, so ill tell you guys the basics... i was frying tortillas, (yes it is an oil burn) and jake was at the sink... and i turned around with the pan, mind you it still had boiling oil in it, and i realized that he was there. so i lifted the pan up, and it spilt.... all over my shoulder and hand. okay. im not afraid to say it, i cried. a lot. and for a while too. man! oil burns hurt like crazy!!!

rain, with a forecast of... more rain.

well, it seems, as though im gonna have to say goodbye to a very dear friend of mine... jack... yup, my little kittie is going home with zach. and im sad about it. but- i know that he'll be taken care of. so, no worries about that. alas, i promised zach and thats just the way things are. i think, though, i should have visitaion. otherwise, i would never really see my most loyal, pansy of a cat=[
anyways, enough of my sappyness. we're all running around getting ready for a christmas party. ive been ready for the last hour and a half, or so... sometimes curly hair has its advantages. lol! air dry... its pretty wet and rainy here. although, its stopped raining for the moment. i hope it rain more later. i didnt have the chance to go out and stand in it. as its started raining late last night. maybe ill go jump on the trampoline in the rain=] that would be fun.

some old roots...

hey guys,
well, i'm in sacramento... man, it seems so weird to be here. i haven't been here since i was like 12. ya... but- i still remember everything. i think part of me misses it. its coming onto four years of living in the santa maria area. and i like it there. but- sometimes your heart just misses your old roots. haha... i sound like im thirty years old, or something... we move so much; so to go back to a few of the places you actually liked sometimes, makes me sad. it was a different life in each place it seems. i mean, the base of the life lived from one place to the other, is the same thing. just the people you encounter along the way, make everything different. some of them you never forget, others you hardly remember. you see some again, and others not at all. it's just the way those people change your surroundings... like we're here at the pooches, and they are a few of the people who made life in sacramento what it was. and, its them that make me miss ol' sacramento. but- i like where we live now. and want to finish that chapter. but alas, im not sure if the chapter there will end anytime soon. haha, so we have a lot more people to encounter, im sure.

sunfish.....

okay, this picture does them no justice... they are way more ugly. the sunfish at the monterey bay aqu. is so much fatter, and has blubber hanging from its entire body. and- it looks like it has a unibrow... ya, it is an ugly fish. i gotta wonder what God was thinking when he made it. for our amazment? i have yet to read more on it. then i'll let you know what its purpose is... or even if it has a purpose. or if its just some floating blob of a fish. haha... (i do know they grow to be like 13ft... or at least so they've discovered already.... and can weigh up to 3000lbs.) okay, i would like to point out that i dont hate the sunfish. im just amazed at its ugliness. i mean.... who wouldnt be?

hello

well, i looked in my archives thing... and saw that i hadn't posted for december... and decided it was time to post. well, not much has happened since my last post... its been pretty laid back. we haven't really done anything too exciting or crazy.
we are going to sacramento next week, on wednesday. im excited... but- not so much for the drive. im not a car person. at least for that long of a time. we're making stops on this trip i think though. so that will be good.
my next geology class is this monday. its a long class, but a good one. (we have to bring a lunch it soo long!) haha... last time i didnt know that, and i was lunch-less. oh well, i lived.
thats pretty much all. at least what im doing the next couple of days.....
OH! the civil war dance is on the 15th. so i have a little sewing to do....... ya. i think im gonna finish it on monday.

http://www.prideandprejudicemovie.net/main.html
i love this sight=]

books...

well, it looks as though, ill be traveling this thanks giving.
i have a long day ahead tomorrow. but- i at least get to start
it off the right way, with a starbucks=] my mom and i are going
to get up as early, as we can. (or as early as she can, i should say.)
and go, get the morning started off, in a good direction. as always,
im happy to go see my dad, but kinna sad. since this is the first year
we are doing thanks giving at home. and not going down to socal.
well, given the exception of myself. i guess there is always next year,
that will be my first thanks giving spent at home.
i went in search of a new book today. and was sadly scooted out of b. dalton
just as i thought maybe i had found one. (i will say, for being such a no good
mall... youd think they would try to stay open a little longer, but- they close
nine.) oh well. im gonna see i if cant get dean to stop at barnes n noble on
the way down south.
well, i should go. good night to you all!

hello, and good bye....

hey guys well... it looks like im gunna be computer-less again. but only until monday.
im going outta town too. for thanks giving ill be at my padre's house. and wont come back until, sunday. after leaving this coming monday. so, that should be fun. im not very excited about driving though. unless..... i get to drive. im working that out right now. or i mean, today im working it out.
well ive gotta go....

hello

hey guys... sorry for not posting. i've been crazy busy. but- debate is over so... woop woop, to that. my days have suddenly not been so well, ya. (without debate i mean.)
i never got on to talk about our six flags trip. it was fun, but there were a grip of people there. so there are a lot of rides that we didnt go on. but- it was still fun. we went on the "something" rapids, as one of our last rides. i had no idea we were going to get that wet! or at least most of us did... i think both the alyssas', zach and myself were the only ones who got soaked. carl, tim, and john got lucky on that one. we had fun. its times like those that i love being with friends. we can all just be ourselves, and be weird... the guys were soo funny. ah, good times.
psh... my hands are so cold. jake and i just got back from skateboarding to get some candy. i really dont like skating against the wind. oh well...

this is amazing.

this took forever to do....

melted my hand...

well, i melted my hand yesterday. ya, it looks kinna deformed. but thats okay.
it happened when i was cooking lunch. the handle of one of the pots was over the steam
of another pot... for a while. and i went to go move it, and didnt really hit that point
of," oh my hand really burns." it was a very slow reaction. im retarded. and ya... i
burned it. haha... i screamed for the first time in, a while. i laughed at the way i
screamed, after i screamed. it was kinna funny. then when i went to turn on the
water to cool it down, the water was hot. now, it has been wrapped up, and looks
a lot like zachs hand. (when his hand was wrapped.) oh well. i had to unwrap it a
few times. ya, that didnt feel to good.

of and if...

of promises, lost and never found.
of new memories that never happened
that were supposed to begin...
of hellos', and good- byes', over the phone.

if lost promises were found,
and new memeories restarted...
if hellos' and good-byes' were said in a differently.
what if?

...of the ifs', and if the ofs'...
of the ifs' that could happen,
and if the ofs' that already happened, could be fixed...
what would happen?

burning up so cal...

hey guys... well, there is a fire down in so cal. and so far its burned its way to palm springs, and four firemen have died because of it... (the fire was started by some arsonist...) these fires are going to be going on for a while... and well- my dad is working those fires. could you all please, pray for my dad and all the rest of the firemen, for their protection and the families of those four firemen who died? (one of the pictures, is of a burning fire-engine... three of the firemen killed were caught inside that engine... and burned in there. i have no idea how the other died.)

okay, im back...

hey guys. well, my socal trip is over. and i'm glad to be home. life is better here... not so much drama. i love my family. but when you walk in and all people talk about it," he said she said... and so and so's mad..." you want to be there so whoever has someone to talk to and vent on. but- sometimes its hard. especially with family. cuz it kinda hurts to see your family, doing that to each other...

on a different subject... i spent four and a half hours in a geology class today. it was intresting and all. but, four and a half hours. ahh... it was a long day. i glazed over at one point and started doodling on my paper. it took a few minutes to pull myself back. but- over all, i did feel like i learned quite a bit. and i really liked all the biblical refrence... this class is once a month for five months... so, its not so bad. time wise i mean...

haha! jack, one of my kittens, is sitting here, really trying to get my attention. purring, meowing, cocking his head, and rolling around... but- he's just not getting the attention he wants. then i pick him up, and he's over it... go figure. oh well... he is a stinker, but he's my little buddy. at least until someone takes him away from me. if anyone does. it looks doubtful so far...

hello...

well, im in socal... and am trying to look on the bright side of it. i cant lie im really not all for being here... i kinda wish i werent. and here, like i said in my other posts, we have nothing but fast food. and since i got that whatever disease illness, thing. my food has been even more limited. i wouldnt eat fast food anyways... (and for those of you who dont know; we're not sure about what or which sickness i have. i hate saying i have a disease, even though thats kinna what it is. im not going to die. i would after a period of many years, if it were the one that i dont remember the name of. the other option is less serious. but i wont die tomorrow. at least not from the disease.)
so anyways. our last game of soccer is next weekend. im excited. well kinna... im sad the season is already pretty much over. but- theres always indoor. im missing the game this weekend, to my moms relief. lol! she thinks the mexico team is too ruff. haha.. oh, last game, a really BIG guy on the other team body slammed me. ya... i have to say i think that that was the only game that i was seriously scared of one of the other players. i tried to avoid him the rest of the game. but-that didnt work out too well. i was slammed again. oh well, it happens.
oh today we went to the Ronald Regan Presidential Library. its not a book library, its a museum... it was amazing! i really enjoied it. ill publish some pictures when i get home... i have to say my favorite part was the airforce one room. it had the plane that Regan used to fly in. we were even able to walk through the plane itself. ya, it was pretty much my favorite part.

my non-posting-ness...

hey everyone. sorry for my recent non-posting-ness. dean was outta town again. so i was computerless. anyways. not much has gone on. its been well... everyday-ish; school, chores, running here, running there. you know the basics.
oh but i am going to hopefully, enter something into the fine arts festival. if i finish it. im a little discouraged at the moment... but hey, if anyone wants to do a preformance with me. tell me. i think it would be pretty fun. (i say that now... who knows. im weird like that.) but- besides that, it should be pretty intresting. i cant say that it would be fun. cause all im doing is entering some art piece or another, and waiting to see what happens...
well, i have to go. dean has to use the computer...

NATO...???

im just going to say. that, i thought doing debate this year would be a little more, tolerable... because ive already done it for a year. so i thought that i would do better, and that i would be more confident. well, this year the task of speech and debate, still proves to be difficult. i feel lost on the whole subject of NATO. ive done a grip of research. and sill have no idea, what im really debating. this seems to be my problem. i did the same thing last year.

i just remembered why i dont like this class...

today...

well, remember before, in my last post, when i said i hadn't died... but that i felt like i did. well, i seriously feel like i have. ahhhh.... i went to bed last night, (or morning) at three a.m... yes and it looks like it'll be a late night tonight too. cause i still have dishes to put away and i have to pick out my church clothes. (not that picking out church clothes takes a lot of time... but when your tired, picking out clothes of any sort is a chore. and it seems like it takes forever.)
the reason i went to bed soo late last night, was because i spent the night over at the wrights house. we were up talking all the way.. until the wee hour of three. yes. so im tired. not to mention i did spend a few hours in the sun. (i could not find any shade. seriously.) i did crazy cleaning in a short amount of time, and i babysat... ya, it was a full day. but- it was a good day.

...crazyness...

hey... wow. i think this is the earliest post ive done. its not too early though...
well, just wanted to say that i didnt die. (yet...) jus kidding. nope i didnt die. but i kinda felt like i did for a while.
today is a pretty full day. crazy. oh well, i kinda like the crazyness. (as long as my mom isnt stressed) we first are going to lompoc to do sewing at my moms friends house. then im meeting a friend at starbucks, from there i have a soccer game. then last but not least to the wrights. i doesnt sound crazy. but each thing is an hour or more, so when im done with one, its about time for the other.
well, thats kinda it.

first day...

hey hey... i finally had my first day at the barn. it was pretty amazing. i think it would be a cool trade just to have if ever i needed to use it... while i was there, i painted my moms tea hutch. then detailed it... so when i first painted it, i painted it a deep red color. then i put a layer of charcole grey. then- i took a paint scraper and scraped all the edges and corners, to give it an older more antique look. yes, i must say... it turned out pretty amazing. it looks kinda pirate-ish... i also started building a picture frame. its not even close to done. but- oh well. it will get there.

~Thailand~

hey everyone, my friend just got back from thailand... and she got a staph infection while in one of the hospitals. (most likely.) so please pray for her. and my parents and i are thinking that it might be a possibility that i could go back to thailand with her when she goes next. which, would be next september. it would be a mission tripo. so, i would only go for a month or so but, shes planning on going permenetly. i have a good year left but- to go on a missins trip there would be hard. because you pretty much are out i the boonies. and its considered impolite not eat what ever they set infront of you. which means rice, leaves, bugs, and monkey poo. yes monkey poo. im a little worried about the whole monkey poo idea. i mean a person could get sick because of that. and, there are desieses there, just like here but- a whole great deal worse. seeing as the karen have limited medical access, so things arent taken care of as they should be. so please pray for her full recovery so that she could go serve, and that God would make clear whether or not this is a place that he would want me to go serve.

*yours for the taking*

i currently have seven cats. five of which are kittens, who- are up for adoption. yes, and it looks like i cant even keep one. sad thing. i think i have to give my two favorites, Isabella and Jack. oh! they all have names but- you are welcome to rename them, of course. just wanted to let you all know that cuz, the person i adopted diana from, wanted me to keep her name. i think it used to be star or something cheesy like that. oh well. (haha, she actually has about three or four names... everyone has a nick name for her.)
so yes, anyways, please let me know if you want one... they are house trained, and are at the precise age to be taken.... for the sake of my parents, let me know as soon as you can.

a quote...

hey everyone, i just wanted to post a quote, that was in one of my history books...

"We should always seek for truth and knowledge,
but we should remember that knowledge and wisdom are of worth,
only if we let our lives be governed by them."

~ Cardinal Nicholas of Cusa

i would love to say more but- i have a library worth of school work to do....

september 15th...

well, tomorrow is carter's birthday. he will be a whole three years old. oh man, i cant believe it. three years ago, on september 15th, i took my siblings out to the play room that was seprate from our house.... eating cherios and apple sause for meals and watching lord of the rings... patiently waiting for him to finally be here... and he came.
let me tell you, carter has put up with a lot these few short years, in his life so far. he has already done some crazy stunts. (becoming a dare devil at an early age.) haha.... well, its kinda sad really. i can remeber this one time when he was around nine months old and my uncle thought it would be fun to push him, in his push car, down the stairs leading to the lower area of the acre and a half we lived on. despite the fact that i told him that we would be better off, it this just didnt happen, he decided to not pay heed to my caution. so he, starts decending down, the stairs, when he suddenly lost his footing and fell forward... giving carters little car, a very nice push... carter went flying down the stairs, with me not too far in toe, and did a flip... ladding upside down. yes, if it werent for the little seat belt holding him in.... he would have died, or at least been pretty significantly injured. to say the least, my uncle almost died that day too. (we later found my uncle hiding in a tree. no lie.) then of course i was a little bit of a help in the developing of his dare devilness... i enjoyied, pushing him all around yard at full speed, in yet again his little red push car. mind you, he enjoied it just as much as i did. course, my mom wasnt too thrilled.... basiclly, in these three years, he has encountered many more crazy stunts like these. given the exception of one... in just a sightly different situation. which my mom also wanted to kill someone for... months after his second birthday, a friend of mine asked him if he would like his head to be farted on... to which, my inocent two year old brother replied," sure!" haha, ya. and carters head was farted on. after which he said," oh no! you poopied!" haha.... ya, that person doesnt know how closely life would have ended. (i dont think my mom would have seriously killed my friend... thats just what she said...)
anyways, enough with memeories... tomorrow, for his birthday, carter wants to go to the muh-zoo. (ya, he hasnt quite gotten the hang of the word 'zoo' yet.) so, hes excited. i think we all are. none of us have been to the santa barbra zoo yet. so, yes... a day at the zoo. which carter swears he came from... again, no lie.

life is good....

well, my first day of crazy school classes is almost over... and i have to tell you, it wasnt as bad as i thought it was going to be. i had my first class of physics today.... and my first class of speech and debate. i think this debate class is going to be way better, and a lot more less stressful. no one day, write a whole speech thing. yay... then to top the day off, i finished with a starbucks.... mmm, a misto, with a shot of toffee nut. oh man was it good, as always.... ive gone to bucks so much that when i walk in they say,"the usual?" (and-i get a free drink every now and then.)

oh, after physics today, one of the guys kept asking questions about wildwood. cause i havent seen him for a while... and he just kept saying," tell me more, tell me more..." haha... i wanted to die of laughter. it came to a point where, i had to tell him, that i really had nothing further to say... even then he was convinced there was more... he just kept on saying, "tell me more." so, i ended up just rambling on a few funny things that happened... let me tell you, if his ride hadnt said," its time to leave...." i guarantee that i would have been doing a lot of rambling. i didnt mind it that much... it brought back some good memories...

well, my sabbatical has so far turned out for the better. i thought id be bored. but- i really have plenty to do... even though a lot of the of the stuff i do, is stuff im required to do, i still enjoy it. (yes even school, to a degree.) oh! i start my job at the barn tomorrow morning, im so excited... and to top it off, ive even gotten a few answers to a few prayers... everything has become more enjoyable.... life- is good.

...my sabbatical....

well, my parents and i have been talking... and we've decided that i need a sabbatical from a few things.... so, there will be a lot of things that i will disappear from. lol! i think, i'm going to be working at the barn a few times a week. and i'll be working at the home-less shelter on tuesdays. then there are various other things that i'll be dabbling in. (which are at the moment being looked into. ) not to mention, i have a ton of school to do...
im pretty excited about the first two listed... i've been wanting to go work at the barn for the last year or so... pretty much ever since i went there to check it out, on last years fourth of july... yet again, another hobbie... then, working at the home-less shelter... i think will be a good thing over all. although, i cant really describe what i think about that, completely.... i think that i would also like to find a plant nursery to work at... (just so you all know, the barn is where my cousin and brother made their picture frames... but there are a great many other things that i can make there.)

haha, i have currently also picked up the hobbie of making my own paper and journals... though right now the only thing i've been able to do with that, is the paper. (which im also still working out all the tools that i need for it.) i need to get a little better at it before i start making journals.

whale watching trip...

Ben's Barn.....

the boys made these picture frames at ben's workshop/barn.... (jacob, left) (brody, right) well, done lil' bros....

...non-survival, and urgent care...

well, ive decided that this year is going to be a non-survival year. i just found out that i already have a class tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. i have now come to the reality of, the quantity of crazy classes and soccer games i have... and i have to say," boy did i really add to the load on my plate...." i can only hope that somehow, through everything, that i will make it through to be, in the end, alive. (even if my life is only an inch of a thread long. haha...) but- its all going to be worth it... i think. to be able to graduate early. even if its only by one year...
haha... i spent almost three hours in urgent care today... missing soccer practice during it... all because of a foot injury. oh man... i was sad. cause i really need the practice. seriously. but- it looks like its all in my favor. nothing too life threatening. haha...
dean is going out of town again... for, i have no idea how long. and so once again ill be computer-less. (out of town for work. again.)
uh... ive bee trying to post some pictures on here. and the image thing wont work. has anyone else had that problem? or is it just my computer? ya, its most likely my computer.
well, good night to you all. i should really go. i have an early start tomorrow... so long.

survival...

hey everyone... got back from camp today... it was pretty fun. as usual. i have to say that our youth room, has pretty amazing activities... and you always seem to benefit from what you learn in Christ at all of the camps. although- to be fair, i have to give the camps credit. but- seeing that our youth room organizes our trips, the staff and james deserve a pat on the back... oh man, we had some pretty amazing adventures. haha... kaleb and jen were so funny at the talent show. i laughed until my sides ached... zach was pretty funny too... he can lip sink pretty crazy. but- i think my most favorite parts were: the great race, our 'Y' time, and just being with everyone. so it was a good weekend. oh, when we were up there... a few of us went on a little hike to the falls. i think that that place was amazingly beautiful. aw, man its times like those that make me want to just praise God and thank Him for all that he blessed us with. sometimes its just the simple things that give the most pleasure.
well, my uncle is here.... im not sure how longs hes staying. not much longer i imagine. hes already been up here since saturday- i think. and he has work. but, you can never tell, family can be pretty unpredictable. haha... i love him, hes so fun to be around... him and i have had some pretty good times; on the the road just being silly and random. all our little adventures...
oh man you guys... i could use some prayer with school. its going to be a pretty crazy next two years. as im still planning on graduating a year early... please just pray that i would stay motovated and that i would get through it all alive. (cause right now, to me, my chance of survival seems very slim.)

...untitled...

well, ill be pretty much computer-less the next few days... unless, i perchance, happen to go to a friends house... in which case they would most likely have one... i hope for the best in this area... (not that ill have a whole lot of time to get on... things now become crazy...)at least as far as school and various other activities...
camp will be a good break... im soo excited for it. i havent been to this one yet.
i have to say that this year has been the first time for all my camps. so, its all pretty exciting. (though, ive heard of some interesting games at kickback.) but- i really have a vague idea of this camp. whereas the others ive had more insight...
haha... oh man... im stuck awake again. and i have to get up early too. oh what to do, what to do? there isnt much to do. at least at this hour in the night. everyone else is sleeping. well, my mom isnt. but- shes pretty much getting in bed. soo, just me and this laptop.

sitting up late

hey guys... well, i cant sleep. i dont feel the least bit tired. but- its my fault... i had a monster too late. so, im currently stuck awake, even though i really want to be sleeping... especially since, we have church tomorrow... man, im retated. i told myself not to have that monster... but- i went against my better judgement. sigh* well, not much i can say or do.
im thinking of watching a movie... hm... thatll make me tired.
well, sorry about this post.... just the ramblings of a person whos really tired.... but just doesnt know it yet....

a verse...

hey guys hows i going? good, i hope. well, i found this verse from a friend of mine and it really caught me, so i wanted to share it with you all...

'Finally ,brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, watever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.'

Phil. 4:8

i thought it was amazing. and i keep thinking about how i always want to remember it. its kinda like, when ever im doing or around something that has one of the descriptions above, i want to be able to go over this verse....... i love the way God makes certain things stand out to you... He is so amazing and good...

i would love to talk more but- alas, i have a babysitting job to do. and have to leave for it in only a few minutes. so sorry for not commenting to those of you who reicently commented me. i will, hopefully by tomorrow...

...pretty much just everything...

hey guys... hows it all going? hope everyones good. well, hmmm, trying to make up for lost posts is going to be fun. just kidding... i wont type that much. it would be too crazy.
i found out who my coach is for soccer. mr. way... im glad... he seems like a pretty cool coach. ive also gotten the info. that our soccer starts today. we'll see if its true or false. i hope its true. despite the fact that im really sore from playing soccer at church last night. a bunch of us stayed after the organized games, and kept on playing. (i think we stopped around 11:30 p.m.) i was the only girl for a while... so, to say the least, i got pummeled a few times. but- thats just how soccer works. all there is to do, is get back up and keep playing. so it was an exciting night. man, the ways and all the people related to them are amazing soccer players... i really dont know all there names, sad to say... (kaleb you are amazing.)
well, the week alone went well. we pretty much were just hanging around the house, doing school work, keeping up on house work (thats always fun), and skateboarding pretty much everywhere. but- after a while i think we got borde of doing the same things over and over again... haha... my mom wanted us to go on a whale watching trip, in morro bay. and let me tell you. things were not good. i was sick within ten minutes... it was bad. i even took some motion sick medicine. (later ill post some of the pictures.) on the boat , i was thinking about how hard it would be for me to be a pirate. then again, it would be a ship, and not a little boat.... so we wouldnt get tossed around as much. haha... just a random thought.
well, i had better be going.

alone... wish i had a car.

hey guys... hows everything going? good with everyone i hope. welll, here it is... my whole family is going down to so cal. (again.) and cauze i just got home from being there... i really dont want to go down. so ill be home alone for four or five days. who knows, maybe more. we're never sure when we go down there. or we go down thinking of the day we want to come back. but- we dont get until two or three days after that. haha... an expected twist fate... anyways, i think thatll be exciting. but if i do that, i have to have a place to sleep every night.... so pray and cross your fingers that i can get that worked out. i have one day. i would have had more time but- i didnt know everyone was leaving on mon. until just yesterday. (haha... another thing that always happens.) well, talk to you all later...

all of the above...

wow, its been a while since my last post... sorry bout that. well, it seem as though im swamped. school work is crazy, there are things coming up that i really dont want to do, (meaning another car trip), my mom has been pretty sick. (so please prey for her... ) then during the midst of all this ive put upon myself the burden of maintaining the garden areas. why? no idea. it sounded like fun. but now, ive made it a pressing matter. it could still be fun.... oh and another camp is coming up and somehow, i need to find a quick way of earning a little money. (easier said than done. haha...)
i heard something in church yesterday... that really caught my attenion. and it was," that no matter what your doing do it for God." so i got to thinking about my recent schedual, and how i was, trying, to do it out of responsibility and just as something that had to be done. i thought it would be a whole lot better if i did everything for Him. so in a lot of ways, today has been better than the last few. i wasnt as pressed. or worried. ahhh, God is amazing.... somehow, the simpler blessings can mean the most...

tomorrow...

wow, today has been a confusing day. everything has been up in the air. it looks like im going back to Santa Maria tomorrow. so i have plenty to keep me busy until then. what with all the packing and double checking... it could take a while.
i went soccer shopping today with my dad today. it was my adventure for the day. lets just say we went pretty much all over the map. ive discovered that sports stores dont really have womens soccer shoes. in fact not even the womens sports store carried them. ha, which is an oxy moron. but- in the end i bought what i could and ordered the shoes... haha... even then the shoes that i ordered were mens soccer shoes. i like them though. they less like soccer shoes than most. if that makes any sense.
i need some help jordie. im pretty stuck on my story. (see i mentioned you.) im not sure if you remember or not, but- its just after the part where i described the dream. i almost had something when... all was lost. i feel pretty dumb. the boy nextdoor was telling me what was wrong with my story. and somewhat my drawings as well... just as well, im going to keep on going in the direction i was headed. i have a story line (for once) and i sticking to it.

just some fun pictures...

driveways and parkways...

im back. and im sick. im hardly ever sick, and yet im sick. well, hopefully it wont last long... you know, ive been a little on the emo side and not very positive, in my recent posts. and, im sorry. i sound so... i dunno... not like myself. im feeling more myself than ever again. so im sure that will be good news to you all. san diego was a fun trip. i havent been to sea world for a while. oh, the roller coaster was more of a combination of a roller coaster and a water ride. to say the least, we were all pretty wet. but, we were nice and cool for the rest of the trip. we also, while there, got to dine with shamu. yep, we had lunch with shamu. well, with shamu's cousin anyways. i dont remember what her name was.... it wasnt shamu though. haha... anyways, the day after thursday (shamu day), lori and i went out shopping. i finally found a good pair of jeans. i am excited... i havent really gotten to seriously wear them.
hm, im thinking of going for a swim. despite my non-feeling goodness. i most likely will... oh speaking of swimming. yestersday, pretty much everyone on our street was at our neighbor carry's house swimming, when out of no where... thunder started, then the lightning (we all fled from the pool), after that came rain and hail. yep, in 90 degree weather too. it was weird to be in the rain and not feel cold. it was hot and humid. it was pretty big hail too... i got hit in the head, and trust me when i say it didnt feel very good.
other than that... i went to church today, and worked in the fourth grade class. i came home and went straight to bed. i might go to the drive in with the neighbors, that depends on how i feel though. i hope i feel better by then.

i have a question... i keep thinking about... and i cant remember who asked me this... who ever it was, i give you credit, cause it still puzzles me.

"why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?" oh, i rememeber who asked this, my uncle chris... good times, good times. the other one was, " why is it called toothpaste, when we have more than one tooth." gotta love him.

going out fo town while being out of town...

well, the title pretty much is self explanitory... haha... im still at my dads. and everything is going pretty good. we're all just getting ready to go up (or down? i think its down.) to san diego... which means laundry. woo hoo. well not all of us are getting ready. my dad got his stuff packed this morning. he had good motovation though... he had to get packed if he wanted to go golfing. so, thats where he is now. i think we re all meeting up later... anyways, we're going out to san diego to vist family and go to sea world. (which just had roller coasters put in. yes!) but thats tomorrow. tonight we're just going to be with family, have dinner, and hang out. then the days after those two, are just going to be spent doing whatever. i think we'll be home on saturday. (home away from home.... haha... i really need to stop. so far ive managed to put in my blogs; behind on catching up, being out of town while being out of town, and home away from home. sorry if its annoying. its kinda annoying me...)
okay, so the last few days have felt really lonely. and i was thinking... i think i get carried away with being around so many people all the time. so when its just me, i get lonely too easy. i mean, im around people, but am doing my own thing some of the time. why am i not borde/lonely then? maybe its just hearing other people. i can fix that with music sometimes... but- its not always that easy. sometimes music doesnt quite cut it, in that area. hm... well, i have laundry and packing to do. not to metion that i got an invite to go some where, and sadly i have to go tell them that i cant make it. (i feel kinda bad.)

'oh bugga'

yes! i finally saw pirates 2! it was amazing... oh man, i wish i were still in the movie theater watching it. ill tell ya, the ending has left me hanging. ill be thinking about it for the next few days... and i know when the 3rd comes out... may 27th of next year. so, ill be looking forward to that one. anyways. i should go.
good night. hope everyone sleeps well.

...in the last half hour of my life...

haha... I just spent the last half hour or so reading all of my previous posts. And I will say its weird to see all of my attitudes and emotions. when im typing, at that specific moment, i really dont pay attention to all the; weird, quirky, insane, serious, depressing, overly excited things i say. (among other, definitions i could come up with. but- alas there are too many.) it only makes me admit my oddities or weirdness... which ever. they have become even more clearer than before. thats for sure.
its been hard trying to think of what else i could say. aside from the everyday things that come along. i guess i could talk a little about that. i think i found a church by the way. i wont really know until this sunday. hopefully, it will all work out. i bought a new pair of vans yesterday. on a count of the fact that i ripped my other pair at camp. im happy to say that the old pair is still wearable... but- well, the hole will only get bigger if i wear them every day like i have been.

(untitled.)

well, life here in so cal has been hot. seriously. ive been swimming everyday so far. but- im getting used to the heat.
anyways... ive been able to get some school done here. which is good. that way, by the end of this month ill have hopefully gotten somewhere in it. and- im not going to lie... i was slacking off. a little. but- now im trying to get back on track. so...
man... its hard to get sleep here. i have no idea why. im awake really late every night, or morning... two days ago i didnt get to sleep until four in the morning. ya. then i got up at nine... it was a little better last night. but- not by much.
nothing really exciting has happened. so theres not too much to say. sorry about that.

the so cal ups and downs....

well... i missed the opening night of pirates 2. but- if i dont think about it, its really not that bad. the reason i missed it is because im officially out of town for the rest of the month. on account of my visiting my padre. i guess this means that ill be missing the next magic mountain trip too. hu... go figure. oh well, if i dont dwell on it then it wont be so bad.
oh, i could use some prayer in the church area. cause usually when im down here, i just dont and cant go to church. but- i think this year is going to be different. its hard to just not go to church. i mean before, i was a lot younger. and i knew there God.... it was just that my heart wasnt completely longing to learn and grow in Him. now that i truly am, i really want to be able to go to church down here. also, none of my southern family are Christians. so it would be a good ministry. so please pray that i would find a church=)

this week, today, and days to come...

yes! i dont mean to complain. but- man am i glad that the cub scout day camp is over. i hope im not signed up to work there next year. ill have to keep a good eye and ear out for that one. the weird thing is, is that last year, wasnt nearly as bad or as crazy. hm....
we might go see superman at the drive-in tonight. ive heard that it was really good. i think that this will be my third time going to the drive-in... most people find that sad. but- i dont think its all that sad. i mean ya, i like the drive in but... i still have plenty of time to go, before i die. well, at least as of now i do... you can never know. so i cant be too sure about the whole''plenty of time" thing.
well, my uncle and cousin are up for the fourth. im pretty excited for that. i dont think that we have anything completely set... as far as what we re going to do on the fourth. we might go to the beach and have a bon fire. i hope we do. cause the other option would be to go to shell beach, hang out at the park until the fire works start... then watch the fire works. i think we would be able to see the fire works from avila beach, if we do the bon fire... i hope you all have a good fourth of july. good bye for now.

in darkness and in light...

wildwood was ah-mazing... ive learned so much. trying to sum it up, is going to be hard. well, we were on the way there, in an old van with no airconditioning, in 100 degree weather at least... and i got to thinking... "was anything life changing going to happen while i was up there?" i was doubtful to say the least. and i had no idea of what it was going to be like. (and i was worried my orchids wouldnt make it through the week, i was going to be gone.) so, i was worried. i didnt want to get up there and have all that time wasted, in hopes that it wouldnt be wasted... so we get there, and for the next four days, the same doubtfulness remained. it didnt come to me until the fifth day, while we up at our altar, talking about how God had stretched us, and where we had grown... to sum it up; i was afraid to let God take and lead my life... and i would try to walk with my eyes open, even though i was walking in the dark... now, i have no fear of walking blind folded. i guess thats a pretty cheesy analogy... but its the only way to really sum up what ive gained and what ive let go.

laundry, wildwood, and summer...

o man... i have tons of laundry to do.
and only one day to do it. lets hope i get it
all done before i go to wildwood.
well, not much else to say... cause most
of my summer stuff starts after wildwood.
from then on, it gets crazy. i still have to work
out a time to go see my dad... hes not very happy
that i havent been down yet, and that im leaving
for camp on fathers day. i kinda feel bad about it.

....

sad to say... i dont think i really have anything of interest to say. i guess its because things have been going so slow lately. or at least they seem like theyre going slow. no doubt, they are. or maybe its just me, i havent been my normal self lately... which im sure you all can tell. my every day things dont seem as worth while or exciting like they used to. so all the things i would have brought up in one of my blogs, dont seem interesting, so i just just stopped posting. its pretty pathetic, i cant even think of anything random to talk about... thats pretty bad.
i have spent more time in prayer and bible study, since ive been feeling this way. so, at least that part of it is good. maybe thats why God put me here. cause im not going to lie... i was slacking off as far as bible study and prayer. (i was feeling lousy because of it.) maybe the lesson here, is; even though life can get exciting and distracting, there should always be time for God. and that he should be the number one thing on your list... always... im sure you all know that and i know that. but- in the mist of the good, bad, crazy, sad, exciting, distracting, things you come across in life, i think it can be easy to forget even the most important thing... im not sure if thats just a fault in me, or if everyone struggles with it..?? it just proves the divine greatness of God, in that he never forgets about anyone and is always there. and proves my own imperfectness. even in my imperfections, he still loves me despite them. God is good...

gone, all at once.

well, im leaving tomorrow on boating trip in oxnard. and wont be back until sunday or monday. (which means no posting.) the reason why im going is because the trip is for a friends birthday. so thats pretty exciting. i was kinda crossing my fingers that i would come across some good rock formations, while i was out there. (safe enough for me to climb, without a rope anyway. but hey, life is taking risks right..??) that would be pretty amazing if i did find some. so everyone cross your fingers for me. i also want to apologize for not posting as much as i should... ive been having a hard time trying to figure out what to talk about. but- then again i thinks its more amusing when you find some random topic to talk about. so- i will try to do better.

the strawberries invade.

yep, well... i went to the strawberry festival in a.g. today. it was way better than the one in santa maria for sure. (but- i have good memories of the one here in s.m. lol! carl and alyssa know what i mean... haha.) it was good to go get my mind diverted to something else. otherwise, today would have been a lot more sad than it was. man, i got a good laugh outta the girl dressed as a strawberry walking down the street, singing about how we should go get old fashion shortcake at doc burnstiens. singing to the tune of..?? well when i remember the tune i might just add it in here... cause right now im having a hard time remembering it. go figure. i felt for her... but- i guess it pays. hu.........

....

well, it comes down to this. kaleb is leaving in two days, and i'm pretty sad:( i wish he wouldn't go but- if he feels like he should and wants to go, then he should go with it. i don't want to be one of those people who bug and say things like," you shouldn't go. OR "see thats why you should stay here," every chance i get. i mean, hes already had a hard time deciding, and now that hes decided, (sort of) why would i want to make him feel bad or put him back at the beginning of the situation again. so with that, i just want to say," i don't want you to go kaleb but- if thats what you think will be best for you, then i'll miss you. and i hope you have a good time back home and that you'll visit as much as you can." if anyone would like to leave a comment for kaleb, please do so. (although i'm sure you would want to leave it on his blog... but- you still can here too. if you want.)

playing with fire...

well, i almost burned down the house this morning. it was pretty bad, i'm serious. as most of you know, i have a cup of tea every morning. so, i filled the tea kettle and turned on the burner. but- i turned on the wrong burner. and well, the pie that was sitting ontop of that burner... caught a light and burned like never before. i walked out for a second, then when i walked back in i saw it and screamed. well, it wasn't a scream, more like between a scream and a yelp. (if thats possible.) not too late after my scelp, my mom came in, then she screamed (she really screamed) and called for dean. i in the mean time, was opening windows and turning on fans. dean got it out and that's about it. then as soon as it's outside, my mom says," amandalin! why...!? don't play with fire!!!" (she was kidding, she knows that i didn't seriously try to burn the house down.)
keep in mind that this happened on our way out the door, while we were all dressed and ready for church.... i will say, the smell of burnt plastic in not pleasant. burnt paper, yes. burning plastic, no.

in His peace

these last few days have been pretty hard, and still today has been too. but- after all the worrying and sadness. i realized that some things weren't meant to last long. worry and sadness being some of them. i have finally given up on trying to do things on my own and just rely on God. in his perfect plan there is peace, which we all need. something that i myself, have been keeping myself from. it has definitely been a long journey getting here and the journey isn't completely ended either. i'm sure it will be this way for a quite a while longer, but i've reached the beginning of the end... there is no turning back, no restart... so i'm glad to say, i taken a step further in giving my life fully to christ. a step further in following all the taken steps before me. left in the sand for all those, like myself, to follow.

a late night snack...

i really did just have a late night snack. and it was good; an avacodo sandwhich with mayo, salt, pepper, on wheat bread. with- the bread toasted. and why? cause i went to a friends soccer game today, and got home around 7:55 pm, then did some chores. so by the time i was done, it was late and i hadnt eaten. i will let you know that her soccer game was awesome and her team won 9 to 5. it was a good game.
and just for all the mothers out there, (even though im sure none read my blog) a happy mothers day to you. even though, its not offically mothers day.

constant guide

Beautiful in more ways than one.
Unfailing in thought,
Ever vivid.
Like the constant dripping of water,
Steady and unwavering.
Faithful as the dawning morning,
Ever expected.
Like the velvet sky of night...
Your hand gently guides me.
Turning me away from dangers,
Hidden along the narrow path.
Turning my heart away
From broken commandments,
Keeping my eyes ever steady on you.
Your light shines,
A constant guide.
Like a lighthouse,
In a storm.
Ever warding lost ships,
From the death of a sheer rock face.
God, my guide...
Keep me in your arms of guidence.

its like falling asleep in class...

man, so far today has been well... almost outta control. remember that insane babysitting i talked about recently. well, this is the fourth day of me doing so. i will say, it gets you pretty tired. i really wish i could go to sleep. but- i cant. (lets see... one, two, three... yep seven kids... i mean its definitely not the largest number of kids ive babysat. but still.)
guess what, a few more hours and we'll be home bound. ahhh, i cant wait to sleep in my own bed. im pretty excited to go home. i mean, i cant say i havent enjoyed myself at all. there were some great things about coming down here, aside for the the debate i had to watch and the babysitting getting crazy... haha! man last night during the debate, i almost fell asleep (and more than once too.) it was pretty funny. its a good thing my mom didnt see. she would not have been happy. it was fun to laughing to myself, every time i did.

fast food is deadly...

awww... being out of town, where you are babysitting insane cousins and where your uncle is trying to get you to do his chores. where everyone sleeps until 12:00 and eats fast food every meal. (at least the two they get in.) but then again i guess they get in three, cause they stay out and are awake until somewhere around 1:oo every morning. go figure.
we however went roller skating last night. it was pretty fun. i am happy to say that i only fell once, playing whip- lash with my aunt and uncle. hopefully, i will be able to put up a few of the pictures from our skate trip. we'll see, if i can get a hold of the camera. well, thats about it.

flying, demented rabbits...

well, we're going out of town again. but- will for sure, be back on monday.
man, last night i had a few weird dreams. i'll only put down one. okay, well in my dream i was in my room, when i saw a bunny rabbit. so i went to go pet it. and it flew at my face, i freaked out! i put the cat in there and left the room. a few minutes later, i went in again and there were like four more rabbits, all as demented as the first. so, i went to get the vaccum cleaner. (haha) but- as i was going a rabbit stated to scream. yes! the cat got one! then as i bent down to pick it up, another one came at me so i picked up the nearest object and smashed it. and- it lived, so i threw the object (which i found to be a wooden spoon). then........ it died. i cant say that i really remember what happened next. i think i pretty much did the same thing over and over again. so ya...

lost in translation...

well, i just found out that most of the other people going on the mission trip already sent out their letters. and guess what, i havent. but- i have a reason that i wish wasnt a reason. my mom wanted to go through it with me and correct everthing that didnt seem right to her. which all in all isnt a bad thing. but, i wish we could have done it sooner. cause i feel left behind... and am worried that it wont send it out soon enough, and wont get the support needed. (at which time i would put my own money in.) then again, if its Gods will that i go, he will provide the way.
*okay, i have a question. have you ever put hope in something, and then suddenly you realize that youve been looking at it like a dream? then you doubt whether or not you should have hope about ... (qoute, dot dot dot, unquote.) and you confuse yourself, cause you want to have hope but you dont want to waste it in something that you almost know for sure wont matter. so after confusing yourself and to some extent, upsetting yourself, you realize that theres nothing you can really do but pray about it. man, then the wait... "is it your will God? or is it not? whats going to happen!!??"
*then to twist your thoughts more, you think about how it was in Gods will to have you feel that way. to be confused over a true or false hope.
well, thats about all i can say. for the time being. so until later posts... ttyl.

drowning...

i feel like i'm drowning in an endless knife ocean of; chores, school, upcoming events, the need for money (jobs), and daily struggles. one wrong move and, all is lost. it seems like i take two steps forward and ten back. but then again it's life. i know. but hey i can complain. jk.
i thought this next school year was going to be better than this past one but- i was wrong. next year is going to be even worse. then again what was i thinking... its a new grade which means more less enjoyable work. man, physics... who wants to do physics? i'm still trying to convince my mom other wise. but it doesn't seem to be working. any suggestions?
on another note... the mission trip is coming up. and i'm really happy and excited to be doing that. let me tell you, i had some second thoughts. i wasn't sure if i was doing something i wanted or something God wanted. so, i've prayed about it. and don't feel the want to go, any less extreme. but- then again, how do i know that i'm not telling myself to feel that way? ahhh, its all pretty confusing. i think thats the last way i should be feeling though. i guess i need to stop confusing myself and just trust in God... please everyone pray for this situation...

...life-less and breathing...

wow, i have no idea how this wasn't already done. but- i have two days until i have to turn in the deposit for wildwood. so, i'm a little worried. everyone cross your fingers and hope i get it turned in on time.
man, i stayed up until 4:15 am two nights ago. and i'm still try to recover. lol! we watched; corpse bride, elizabethtown, and king kong. by the end of king kong only two people we're a wake. and i being one of them, was awake until 4:15. man, then ontop of that, a few hours shy of me falling asleep, i was woken by a bean bag hitting me in the face.* revenge was taken.* so, i'm feeling kinda life-less. and for some strange reason, i decided to go to morning mana today. i felt kinda bad, cause i almost fell asleep during it. i could have fallen asleep right there, in starbucks, with all those people standing around. i was so close to giving in. but- i fought the embarrassment, and prevailed. i could have gotten a tea or coffee, but i'm on a budget... so no caffeinated drink for me.
we went to the farmers market yesterday. it was pretty fun, lots of food. but- i didn't get to have any. oh well... at least i got to go into a few stores. and i ran into a few friends while i was there. so anyways, i'll talk to you all later.

a little emo, i know...

you know i've felt pretty lonely these past weeks. but- then somewhere in the middle of it, i asked the question," am i really all that lonely? why am i making myself feel that way?" so, i decided that i would use the time i had alone, to get into a deep bible study. and i slowly started to forget... instead of feeling depressed and lonely, i felt very content. God, is so awesome! Hes always there, so you can never really be lonely. it feels so good to know, that you can always depend on him. i mean, i knew that before, but- i guess i didn't pay a whole lot of attention in that area. i'm pretty sure, He used this time to point that out to me and to get closer with my fam.
God is good.

late nights early mornings

man! it has been pretty crazy... we have been jumping from one place to another, since we've been out of town. and yet, there still remains some jumping to do. needless to say, there has been late nights and early mornings, to go along with all of this. so anyways...
let me tell you, i violated the law. well, my mom's law anyways... not purposely. (i would never do a thing like that.) it is known that i am lactose. but- because i really wanted a frappachino, i decided that it wouldn't be that big of a deal if i had one. cause, i haven't had dairy for a while and when i do that, i can usually have a little. i was wrong. let me tell you, i haven't had a stomach like that for a long time. so i've changed my thought in that area," i think after you haven't had dairy for a long time, and you randomly decide to have it, the stomachs are worse."
the civil war dance is in a few days... which means, that my dress, thats still ripped from the last dance, needs to be fixed. but- at least its not a really big thing. (its only the waste band.) i'm pretty excited. my first one, was a little confusing. for many different reasons. some of which i can't really explain. so, this year i'll be better prepared. hopefully.
i still haven't found my electric violin... so or those of you who have connections in that area. please let me know if you come across any cool ones. well, i will talk to you all later.

window decorating...

well, i had fun decorating some friends window last night. (this happened around 12:30 p.m.) all we pretty much did was draw a bunch of weird pictures, and tape them all over their bedroom window. our goal was to cover the whole window, but- because we were short on time, and paper... we covered most of the window. but, it was enough that we were satisfied. well, thats all i have time to say. i have some things that need to be done, so i'll have to be going. talk to you all later.

turning silent pages (poem.)

the sadness now is fading,
falling away.
fading like the light of day.
almost as light now,
as the mist of an early moring.
the heaviness is lifting,
lifting each day.
it's easy to look back now.
to look back at the pain and saddness.
to see tha struggles... that have passed away.
and are now going cold in their grave.
never to rise again.
never to be seen, felt, or heard.
as silent as a reading book.
forever the pages turn,
silently.
so the story in written...
and it will continue to write.
write without stopping.
writing about how the saddness was fading.
like dry grass set a-fire,
on a blazing hot day.

confusion and rain....

well, woke up last moring not sure where i was. it was weird. i was almost afraid to move. i woke up at 5 a.m. cause i had forgotten to turn off my cell alarm. it took me a while to tune in, then a while to find it, then a few to look around my room, and a second to look out he window. (i remember that i wasn't happy about it raining though.) lol! i was so confused.
i have a question... does anyone understand tabs? i understand the cord letter thing, but- what do the numbers mean... if it were a d chord, and there was a 7 on the line... would you switch to seventh?
sorry guys. thats about all you can get out of me. there isn't very much to talk about.

well, we hit a little wind...

well, we didn't actually leave at six. more around 9:38ish. ya... oh well. but we arrived at our destination alive. and no traffic. for those of you who prayed, thanx. maybe God will rid this earth from car sickness for ever.
it seems carter is having trouble walking on one of his feet. and just really won't walk on it. so, please pray for that.
i am currently in awe. i don't think i've ever really paid attention to my mom singing. and well, ya. i got to listen to her all the way here. she's pretty funny, i must admit. the really funny thing is she really dosen't know she's all that funny... when she sings. but- she is. i love her.
thats pretty much the only thing exciting that happened on this trip. (it was nice though, i slept most the way.) well bye.

everything random...

well, sorry for not posting for the last few days. my mom has been keeping me pretty busy, among other things.
our little trip down south is tomorrow, bright and early. six o'clock a.m. is when the drive time begins. please for my sake, pray for no traffic. car sickness is a thing i think the world can do without. completely.
i'll tell ya dreams are crazy things. you have no idea how many times i wake up in the middle of a dream, feeling some extreme emotion or other. ya, i woke up this morning with clenched fists and teeth. and the morning before, i was startled so badly, i pretty much fell out of bed. all in the middle of a dream. weird.
i found the coolest scarf yesterday! okay, maybe not the coolest, but it's still pretty cool. and, i found it in our garage, in a box with the rest of our snow stuff. why i haven't seen if before, i don't know. but- it's been officially commandeered.
it's really funny to hear a two year old ask for a band-aid. carter has never really liked them. he starts crying just looking at them. now, he asks for them regularly. says,"pider- mayan ban aid... tease..??!!" (translation: spiderman band-aid... please.) lol!
well, thanx for all the comments. and i will talk to you all later.

...it all slips bye...

in this crazy insane life, i often forget to just stop and look around. to look through all the school books, and all the crazy activities, (and chores...) all the disappointing, angry, and the good times. its kinda sad really. i can't say that i've never stopped. sure there was a time, somewhere. but thats the thing... i don't remember. you get so used to having whats always been there and forget how much the simple things mean. but, its not always going to be there... sure, i know that and you know that... yet somehow, it all slips bye.
God is so great. great, to give us all we have here. to provide for us, no matter the time or the day. somewhere, i can't remember off the top of my head, in the bible it says that, God gave all of nature to us. for us look at and enjoy. and i don't do that as often as i should. so, i've decided to at any random given moment in the day to just stop. look around me, and thank Him for it all.

day to day...

i went to a pcpa play today, called" our town." i have never been to a real play. so it was pretty cool. although i will say, play acting, is weird to get used to. i went with a friend and her mom...
i was so tired today, that i almost didn't go to morning manna. but- i'm glad i did. there wasn't nearly as many people as there has been, but it was fun. and the lesson was good. and, we did worship today, which we haven't done for a while. its funny, the last few days it hasn't been as cold, then the day we decide to do worship... was the coldest. (out of the last few days i mean.)hopefully tomorrow is a little warmer. cause, my lips were quivering so bad that it was hard to sing. lol!
i have an official date when i'm leaving to my dad's, the tenth of this month. so, i'm a little sad. but kinda well, happy. (cause excited isn't the right word to use here.) but- to say the least, i'm going and won't be back until tuesday morning. ahhhhh.... i just thought of something. if i come back tues. then, i most likely won't get to go to youth group. we'll be back in the a.m. but still. my mom may be too tired to drive me that night. and i think she has some sort of meeting that night too. man..!! unless she is relaxed and not stressed in any way. then i'm sure she won't mind taking me. but, i don't want to overwhelm her either. well, we'll see what happens.
i must go now, cause i think i'm burning my cake... nope we're okay. but still, i should go. well, hope you all have a nice night. talk to you all later bye...

grape wars...

i realize that some of you, namely one person, are not very happy that i have not posted more than i have... since i have only posted once. so i will try to be more diligent. for the sake of the readers.
well, i may be doing this thing where i have to learn somewhere around ten pieces of music. then go play them infront of a judge, who; will then give me some score or another, tell me where my biggest struggles are, tell me the best way to fix them, and tell me if i'm going to move up in this battle of the pianos. so i'm a little worried, but mostly just nervous. and if you know me, well... you'll know that my hands shake horrably when i'm nervous. and, it'll be pretty hard to play with shakey hands...
i will say, having a grape war is pretty fun. although, moms don't deal well with it. my brother and i are always coming up with some weird way of having fun. and they're usually not something my mom likes or can deal with for too long. say, a grape war. it was good for us though, cause during most of the war, she was in the shower. to say the least, we got most of it cleaned up before she got out. ( grapes can be pretty painful... they almost feel like paintballs.)
sorry to end this post on such a weird note, but- i have to go...

musical chairs...

okay, well i have to explain this title. in full. so be ready... a friend of mine and myself went to a camp this last weekend. unbenounced to me it was a junior high camp. and the reason for my going was to be there so i could be with another friend who was in junior high, so she wasn't alone. but- she ended up not going. so we were both stuck going... cause it had already been paid for. so we spent seven lovely hours getting there. (four of them spent in traffic.) only to get there and be pushed into a game of musical chairs... yes, musical chairs. (and a bunch of other games as such, the rest of the weekend.) i really tried to look deeper. but- sadly, i was and still am stuck on the surface. what to say???